Mother’s Day 2025 | Shonali Bose shares how she channelised the pain of losing her mum in Amu-OxBig News Network

 “Losing her at 21 was devastating and painful — it changed my life,” Shonali recalls, adding, “I explored mother-daughter relationships and the theme of death across Amu (2005), Margarita with a Straw (2014), and The Sky is Pink (2019). With Amu specifically, we intentionally wrote a story around a mother daughter to tap into my pain and write from an honest place. I believe that if you can write from the depths of your pain – that can be powerful.”

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In her debut film Amu, Shonali cast her maternal aunt Brinda Karat in a pivotal role. One emotionally charged scene required Brinda’s character, Keya, to reveal Amu’s (played by Konkona Sen Sharma) origin story — a moment that required Brinda to tap into the pain of losing her sister. 

“Brinda had already delivered two brilliant takes” Shonali recounts, adding, “But hours later, at around 2 a.m., when it was her cue again, she couldn’t emote, she was just numb.

No matter what I said she couldn’t tear up. Then I got an idea. The scene was in an ambassador car and I was crouched under the seat. After calling action I did a sense memory exercise and talked Brinda through the memory of the last moments of my mother’s (her sister) life before the plug was pulled in Breach Candy ICU. And she couldn’t hold back the tears. When I called cut and came out of the car I saw that my sound recordist and designer Resul Pookutty was sobbing too — he had heard every word through his headphones.”

This deeply personal emotion extended into her later work as well. In Margarita with a Straw, Shonali recreated the raw emotion she had experienced in 1986.

“When Revathy’s character dies in the hospital and Kalki’s (Koechlin) character rushes out in her wheelchair, wailing — that was me, just as I did when my mamma died in 1986,” she shares, adding, “For years Mother’s Day was painful for me. And then I gave birth to Ishan and became a mamma myself. And would love the cards he would hand paint for me that I still have,” she shares. Shonali lost Ishan at just 16 years old in 2010. This life-altering loss found expression in her 2019 film The Sky is Pink.

“His death took me to another place… I felt a deep peace about death. In The Sky is Pink, the character played by Priyanka (Chopra Jonas; actor) wears a vibrant pink scarf to her daughter’s funeral. Just as I had worn red. To celebrate. Not mourn. It marked the end of a marathon. A journey,” Shonali ends.